"without manic highs, the depression was unrelenting, almost paralyzing. i holed up in my office, working but not productive. there was no joy or laughter in my life. i wanted a divorce, since my husband was always "impossible" from my depressed perspective. simple tasks, like changing a lightbulb, took three weeks. i avoided friends who required too much energy. as the months dragged on, suicide entered my thoughts for the first time."