At the flip of a switch…

I will be good, all day, chillin’ and happy and getting back on track and feeling good. The smallest thing like a photo, or comment, and I’m feeling sad and sorry for myself.
Why are there certain people I obsess over? It’s getting old and I don’t know why my brain is being a creep. I either obsess over how great someone is or how much I wish I could be like someone or how much time I want to spend with someone or why isn’t this person writing me back or why does this person not want to be my friend anymore. Its coming more and more obvious that the “lone ranger” I once was is starting to crave some attention. I’m getting lonely so the first person that comes along I need need NEED. Or the people I used to hang out with all the time I am super jealous of for the dumbest shit.
Stop it! Let it go! People are busy. Just like you are sometimes. Give people space. Give yourself space. There is nothing wrong with you just fucking chill.the.fuck.out.

today is the day

i have decided i need to start taking care of myself. i need to nurture and love myself. i have neglected myself for much too long and because of it, i am depressed and worn out.

i will start slow. a small study session in the morning followed by a short yoga session. my wrist will be strong, my mind will absorb and i will dig myself out of the hole i have been in.

i am scared to leave some of my thoughts behind, even though they have done nothing for me. but i have the choice now. do i want to be depressed and sad and miserable? or do i want to be happy and charming and fun? i'll go with the latter.