i feel like christmas came too soon. and it was over just as fast. unfortunately the snow is coming NOW (we had rain and slush for christmas). regardless, it's been a good, nice, long weekend.

we spent the day with my family on xmas eve. at my mom's in the morning and my aunt and uncle's in the evening. it was hard in the evening, with my grandpa not there. everyone felt it as well. there was a good amount of crying but i'm glad that everyone got to be there for eachother. i actually had a lot of negative things to say but i'll just bypass that. but i think i will say that i would be very ok with it just being our immediate family next year.

every year my dad gets my mom bras and underware. it's seriously tradition now and i feel like if he ever went outside of that box we could all suffer heart attacks!

note to self: get tony a buzz lightyear for christmas next year. he seemed way too into it! hah

family tradition: shots of "holy water". i believe that was the last bottle my dad had from his dad? maybe, maybe not. either way, everyone took a shot. (well, i didn't. but i never do. shit's strong!!)

hope everyone had a very lovely holiday!


i think that paulo coelho is incredible

"we have to try to get rid of the notion of time. and when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal."

-paulo coelho
today tony took a ton of stuff to the salvation army. not as much as last year, but close! in the pile of things was my old red luggage. that luggage has been everywhere with me. it's a little beat but still very usable. and i hope that no one minds it's an incomplete set...i figured it was time to get rid of it. a part of me has held on for it for too long.

and there will always be a piece missing.

i can't believe it's almost christmas!

once things calm down a bit i think i'm going to do a year in photos. just of things i have done, good memories and whatnot. until then, this is what i have been up to the past few weeks!

hat shopping! why it is soooo huge i will never know!

looks like dexter didn't want to be in the corner :)

the clouds were CRAZY the other night. so pretty out.

tony finished the shed. now our scooters have a nice home for the winter!

i caught shorty "standing around" yesterday. literally.

this week is going to be a busy one. probably more so than last week even. it's good, i'm not complaining, but i feel like a vacation is in order!

happy holidays!!



something i just realized:

you can't be a teacher unless someone wants to be taught.

why this took so long for me to figure out i'll never know, but i'm glad i know now.


more good

so, i have continued my communication with eric. i have decided to apply for this life training class because it sounds amazing and i feel like i am meant to do it at this point in my life. it's literally RIGHT before i leave for europe but i figure if it's meant to be, it will be...

eric has given me a new light in my heart and i'm excited to see where this all takes me.

i also just read the alchemist by paulo coelho and i feel like i'm getting signs to go ahead with everything.

i've been having amazing workouts too. i think i'm going to buck up and just start going to an actual class. probably not until january when i've got some more time to dedicate to going. it's not cheap, after all!

wish me luck!


the day has turned around

i have been having a bad day. i haven't been feeling the best physically.

and mentally i'm exhausted.

i feel hopeless and uninspired.

or i should say, felt.

this morning i was thinking about how grateful i am that i found xflowsion. it's dvd workouts that are yoga based. because of xflowsion i was able to get my ass in gear and continue to work out and feel great. and the words of the creator, eric paskel motivates me every time he talks. (even though i hear the same thing over and over!)

anyway, this morning i was thinking about it and i decided to write him an email thanking him for his words and inspiration etc etc. and i just got an email back.

i seriously feel like i'm about to have a heart attack. freaking the fuck out, really! i've just gone through a huge range of emotions and i have excitement and anxiety running through my veins.

and just so i never forget the correspondence, here is it. not for anyone but for me.

i really hope that you are the real eric paskel from xflowsion and that you can accept my thanks!

to make a long story short, i had been having some health problems for years and my diagnosis caused me to change my eating habits and change my life. a few months ago i was about to turn 30. i woke up 30 days before my birthday and i said "i need to start working out". i had changed everything in my life minus my activity level. i have always hated working out and never able to stick to anything.

so 30 days before i turned 30 i made a promise to myself to work out EVERY DAY until my birthday. and i did it because of you guys and xflowsion!

it's been over a month since and i have continued to work out at least five days a week.

i am so grateful for your strength and encouraging words.

thank you a thousand times for helping people along a path of health, wellness, and for making an amazing workout video. i can only hope there is more to come!

from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

in joy,

WOW! how wonderful... i am so happy to hear your story and would love to hear more. we are all in this together, you are not alone my friend. i will keep doing my part and you keep doing yours and together not only will we save our own asses but i am sure we will help some others as well. where do you live? i travel alot to teach and may be in an area near you and of course i would love you to come to michigan or LA where i have our Yoga Shelter studio's. check out www.yogashelter.com Our april 15th Life Training course has your name written all over it. dont let the finances be an issue if things are tight, we will help. stay in touch and tell me more. peace, EP by the way this is the real Eric Paskel HA...

i really want to find out more about this life training course. it's right before i leave for czech but i feel like it's happening when it is for a reason. and i really, really want to go.

i can't wait! thank you eric, again, for giving me some hope!!


christmas lights!

tony and i put up the tree and lights all over the house. and i wrapped all the presents this morning.

he was real excited. obviously.

the bathroom: i cannot wait to take a bath with just these lights on!
this is the blue room. we spend most of our time in here relaxing:
i looove this time of year!

see the finished tree here!


i can tell it's december...it's getting cold..

...and i'm totally and completely uninspired.

my 365 blog was helping with that for a bit, but now i feel like i'm boring. my days pretty much run together...working at the salon...doing yoga...eating...i don't have much time for anything else. things i used to enjoy don't add any warm feelings anymore. i feel lackluster. i feel tired.

i feel cold.

i usually get like this in the winter time. it didn't come as fast this year because we had warmer weather up until a week ago. i dream of being at a beach with the sun on my face. ft. lauderdale florida was 80 yesterday!

i need something to get me through this winter. it's supposed to snow tomorrow. as much as i love the first snow i just don't feel like i'm ready for it yet. it just means there is more to come. and just because i love the FIRST snow doesn't mean i love snow...

i'd really like to put the christmas tree up. listen to christmas music, wrap presents, and light cinnamon candles. hopefully i can convince tony to do this with me soon. maybe that will help cheer me up.

either way, i feel like i took a hard dive downward and i don't feel like getting up again. it's probably the worst feeling in the world.

i guess the only thing i can do is keep trying..


get some motivation!

the past two weeks i have been slacking on my yoga. i went from working out seven days a week to four days a week, and it shows in my attitude.

so i'm back on it today. i worked out and if felt so good. and i feel so much more at ease. lets hope i start sleeping better again..

i feel like i've been so busy lately and the weather is starting to get bad and i'm really dreading winter. i can't seem to get warm at work or at home, and it makes me very uncomfortable.

and somehow someone got my credit card number and charged things and my cc company said they were taking care of it but they haven't taken one of the charges off of it...*sigh*. i guess i should call them...

i'm keeping my fingers crossed that today is going to be a good day..

today will be a good day.


bringin back the past...and snail mail!

i would like a pen pal.

any takers???



oh yeah, my tattoo!

it's finished and healed. i think it turned out beautiful!



a couple weeks ago i did that gallbladder cleanse.

basically i've been feeling like crap ever since. the past two days i've had a sharp pain in my stomach. then at work yesterday i felt like i was going to pass out/barf. i got bad indigestion, and i felt like i had a fever.

i looked it up and it sounds like i am either trying to pass more gallstones or i have one stuck or something like that. i was nervous because i knew something wasn't right.

anyway, i talked to my doctor this morning and she seemed urgent and said that i needed to do another gallbladder cleanse now to get out whatever is stuck.

more nerves.

i dont wanna do it.

but i also dont want to keep feeling like this. i guess i have to finish what i started.



today was amazing

i dont even have time to get into it right now, but so much greatness happened in my little world.
hopefully i'll have time to sit down this weekend and really get to appreciate all that has happened and all that i have.

this is really what love is!


it's been a fulfilling past few weeks!

i dont even know where to begin!

i always hate seeing someone you haven't seen in a long time and trying to answer the question: so what's new?

there is always sooo much to say but really, never enough time to say it. plus i always figure (maybe it's my own fears) that the person doesn't really want to hear what all is new.

anyway, i've been crazy busy and i wish i had more time to blog. but really, i think enjoying life is just as good!

i ordered a couple cds from gregory page. normally i would just order through amazon or something. i guess it's just easier i dont know. although i would rather just support the "little guy". anyway, to my surprise he added notes to both of my cds:

i like when people you support add a personal touch. it makes it feel more like a friendly exchange rather than just buying something.

also, i completely forgot to mention this before. remember when i talked about starting to work out daily? well, i did it! i worked out every day from sept 23rd to oct 23rd.

the smiley faces mean i worked out. anyway, i've still been working out daily. and i feel great and my body is changing and i'm becoming stronger and more flexible. it's incredible, really. i'm very excited and proud of myself for sticking through with this. it's been a long road, but i finally found something i love to do. i've missed a couple days here and there..but for good reason. once for a cleanse i did and i wasn't feeling good that day, and a couple days when i got tattooed. (speaking of which, i finally got my hip piece done! and it looks amazing. i will have to take a photo.) so the plan is to continue what i'm doing. minus probably saturdays. i like to work out in the morning when i wake up and i get up way too early saturday to do that. either way, working out/yoga is in my life forever and that makes me happy!

ending on a sweet note...i bought some delicious looking raspberries at the store yesterday. they were huge and probably the best berries i have ever had.

yum. anyway, i probably have way more to write but i'm getting tired because work was busy today. i've done so much lately i think tomorrow i'm just going to relax. well, after i finish some paperwork for work. :)


i love fall...and other random things

this is pretty much how everything looks right now and i love it!

this place used to be a chinese restaurant. super gross and weird that it's obgyn now!

cory wanted me to do his makeup for halloween and gave me the following two pictures for inspiration.
this is what it ended up looking like:
i think it turned out really good! obviously not perfect but we were happy with it.

and the same nite tony decided to shave his beard which is always fun. because things like this happen:
hope everyone had a happy halloween!


gallbladder cleanse

so i'm in the process of doing a cleanse and i hate it.

six days of 32 oz of apple juice. maybe this doesn't sound bad to anyone else but i dont have any sweetener anymore. let alone any fruit (minus berries. and berries aren't that sweet). so my tummy has been a bit upset all week because of the added sugar i'm not used to.

then last nite i had to drink 2 6oz glasses of epsom salt water. which is probably the most revolting thing i have ever had in my mouth. finish that off with my usual 3oz olive oil mixed with oj and i was set! ugh. normally i can't get the oil down all that great but it was super easy after the epsom salts!

this morning upon waking at 7am i had to drink more epsom salts. then again at 9 i have my last glass. i dunno if i can force that last glass down...

my tummy is making weird noises. but i do think i passed gallstones. there were tons of pebble looking things. some as big as peas. i have heard after three of these cleanses it's possible to pass some that are golf ball sized! i really dont want to do another one they are so gross....

anyway i go at 11 to get my colonic and clear some more out. i have a feeling i'm not going to be feeling up to doing much today! :(


is there a sign on my head?

does it say "attention! people from my past! please contact me to fuck with me once i've decided i'm over it!"

someone i decided to rid myself of months ago is trying to worm his way back into my life, apparently.

really, after months you think i'm going to be that easy? i'm through with letting people walk all over me.


more birthday thoughts

i met up with my family for dinner last night. this is the first "event" where my gpa was not there. the first birthday card i got without his signature. there was a few times i had to really stop myself from crying. i miss him so much.

other than that, my stomach is hating me today. and i still have one more day to go! the drinking and food and everything my body is not used to is starting to catch up with me. ugh.

i also start my gallbladder cleanse today. seven days. wish me luck!

i'm glad i dont have to work today. i will be halloween costume shopping, and resting up to prepare for the fun tonight!

ps. i love my friends and family. everyone has made me feel so special these past few days.


it's my birthday

i'm officially 30.

there have been mixed feelings this week. partially because a certain someone that i used to be close to told me that things would be different. unfortunately we dont talk anymore. which is why there are mixed feelings...

regardless, my send-off into the 30s was incredible.

one of my clients/friends asked me out for drinks on wednesday. she's really awesome. we had a ton of fun. she is just like me but much prettier. so glad i decided to go!

last night i went to the mixx and then to dirty martini with a small group. the killer flamingos announced my birthday SEVERAL times so everyone kept coming up and getting me drinks so that was fun. they dedicated songs to me too! i couldn't even begin to get into details of the night but i'm so grateful for my friends for making me feel so special.

i'll be meeting up for lunch with some people at seva!!!!! can't wait! then for dinner meeting my bro and the rest of the family. drinks at the best bar ever (ashleys). i hope my body can handle more beer! tomorrow i'm going out too. four nights in a row is going to be rough!


you aren't the person i thought you were.

then again, maybe i'm not the person you thought i was.


i can do it!!!!

and hold it!!!

WOO! what a great feeling!!



pretty much everything sucks today.

i try very hard to stay positive and optimistic and happy. most days are easy. some are harder than others. today it's impossible.

no matter how hard i've tried things are just not going my way.

and yes, i do know that other people have it worse than i do. don't think that i don't know this.

but i did not need to deal with a certain assistant giving me shit two days in a row, when she should have just been doing her job. i did not need to deal with a certain coworker giving me A RIDICULOUS amount of shit because i called in sick wednesday. i didn't have to deal with the same person trying to talk me out of cutting or coloring my hair. (for the record, i do not understand why everyone at work seems to think i care what they think i should do with my hair. everyone has insisted on arguing with me lately (at work). i did not need to deal with a douchebag asshole at the bar talking shit about me because he is an insecure slut. i shouldn't have to deal with my finally nice looking skin breaking out (when i'm almost 30, ahem). and i definitely didn't need to deal with frogwaard dying. tony is going to be so upset. and i am not looking forward to being the one to break the news.

i just want today to be over with. i'm sick of crying, really.

birthday jitters

two weeks from today and i turn 30.

up until today i was excited for this.

today i want to go back in time.

everything changes when you get older. maybe i'm just not ready.

i can't really describe it. i just...don't like it.


plane tickets

just got our tickets to czech! soooo excited!!


starting a new blog

please check out my new photo blog! i've been inspired and i hope maybe i can inspire someone else too!

365 days of grateful


working out

a few months ago i decided i wanted to start working out. i told myself to start out with three times a week and work it up until five times a week. basically, i ended up unmotivated and working out very little. life would happen, and then i'd slack and have a hard time getting back into it.

on september 22nd i woke up with that feeling again that i needed to be working out. it'd been close to a month since i'd done anything physical and i was feeling like a slob. along with my new diet i thought it only made sense to really change my perspective on things. so i decided that i would really push myself and work out again. starting september 23rd i would work out every day until october 23rd, my 30th birthday. i know once you get to a certain age it really becomes hard to get yourself into shape. and i'm happy with my body and would like to maintain (if not tone up a bit more) what i have.

so i started it. i've been doing a combination of yoga and kickboxing for the past nine days straight. i have not missed a single day, and i am so proud of myself for sticking with this!

besides that, the main reason i'm writing this, is because i have reached the next level in my routine. today as i worked out, i noticed i am SO much closer to doing a certain yoga pose that i have never been able to master. i have much more balance. my flexibility is better. while sitting on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me, i could grab my ankles and stay in that position! (sadly, i cannot sit like that and touch my toes for longer than 2 seconds. BUT I WILL BE ABLE TO SOON!) i have more energy and stamina. and hell, i'm a lot happier!

i am thrilled with the results and motivated to continue this. after today's session, i know that i am headed in the right direction. and i am also happy that me working out is not driven by the desire to look better, but simply the desire to feel better.




sunny day was friday. it was phenomenal. i haven't seen them play in close to ten years (this was their reunion tour) and they sounded better than then did back then. it was sooo good. and the guitar player was so stoked to be there which made it that much better. there were a lot of people there...but the four guys that stood in front of us were the best. those dudes were so fucking excited! you could tell they'd been bros for a long ass time..they were singing and swaying and rockin out the entire show! they were so happy and it made my experience better because of it. i am SO glad we were able to get tickets to see them!

so we were supposed to drive to maryland for the weekend for a car show. things kept getting all screwed up. decided a month ago to stay in tony's grandpa's cabin in the u.p. found out a week ago that there was no electricity or anything. and that it was gonna rain all weekend. so we decided not to go. THEN we were gonna go back to maryland. late friday nite we found out our friends only had the beach house for fri and sat nite so by the time we would have got there we would have only had one nite there and it wasn't worth the drive. instead we ended up driving to my parents house saturday afternoon. it was my dad's bday thursday and mom's was sunday. so it was a nice surprise for them! saturday nite me, tony, shawn, jen, and dad all went to the local bar. we did lots of drinking and talking and bonding. it was a good time for sure. sunday we got up and drove to st. joe after a big lunch and hung out at the beach. it was sooo good to be back near some water. just listening to real waves and having my feet in the sand and sun on my face brought my mind back to florida earlier this year. how important that trip was to me. how much i learned about myself and how good it was to experience everything that i felt there. how i miss adam and wish we still lived near each other. how i need to have getaways like that more often. how i'm really not looking forward to this michigan winter!

we got back home this afternoon. got things done around the house. i'm sleepy and hans is over. one more day off before i have to get back to work. lets just hope for the best when i go back...


one of the many reasons ann arbor rules

RIP tare panda

i had to put tare panda to sleep today. late last week she developed a tumor on/in her eye. it's been getting worse and worse and she's blind out of that eye and she's constantly fucking with it. it looks so painful so i thought this would be the right thing to do.

i cried twice yesterday just thinking about it. i thought i had all my tears out. ohhh no no...i didn't. i fought back tears all the way up to the door, and then on the way out the door i was thanking the girls for being so nice and started sobbing.

so i would like to thank the two nice gentlemen that carried tare panda's home to the door for me. they very easily could have just pointed to where i was supposed to go. instead they held doors open for me and apologized for my sick hamster. and thank you to the two nice girls that had to do the awful deed of actually putting her down. what a shit job! i mean, someone's got to do it..i'm just glad it's not me.

last nite i changed her bedding one last time. gave her fresh water. and picked out all sunflower seeds to put them in her bowl (those were her favorite).

two deaths in two weeks. actually, my gpa died exactly two weeks ago today. :(


happy peace day!

i took this from a blog that i read on a regular basis called superforest. i just really liked it and think it's important to do! not just on peace day, but every day!

Happy Peace Day, SuperForest!

Today is
Peace Day and let’s celebrate it by being peaceful. Smile at your fellow diamonds. Sparkle at them and enjoy their return sparkle. Say nice things to your fellow humans just to see their faces light up. Hold the door for each other, and email everyone you love to tell them they are great.

Perhaps today is the day that you pick one person that you’ve quarreled with, or one person that you feel has wronged you, and you call them up, or email them, and you say: “Hey (their name), I know we’ve (insert verb), but I just wanted to say: Happy Peace Day, and I love you.”

That will make you feel great inside.

You are great.
Peace Day!


mc reg

got back from the regina spektor show a little bit ago.

she's so cute. she has a sweet, tiny voice, but it is also so strong. and the things that come out of her mouth!!!!

when she played laughing with i started crying and couldn't stop.

that was the first song i heard right after i found out my grandpa died.


today was my first day back after almost a week

tony took a half day thursday and we drove down to kzoo. on the way there my mom called and told me to go straight to grams house. everyone seemed to be in decent spirits so that was good. gram started to get a little teary when we all went to leave, so that was hard.

friday was the visitation. A LOT of people came so that was awesome. i thought i was feeling ok until i walked in the door and saw this photo slide show they had playing. i just broke down. but whoever put the slide show together did an amazing job. everything was so nice. people sat around telling stories. but it was also really sad, obviously. my grandma would not leave my grandpa's side. it was heart-breaking. she just kept talking to him and touching his face and holding his hand. she'd have little break downs and start crying. it was awful to watch. they were married for 61 years...can you imagine being with someone EVERY DAY for 61 years and then all of a sudden waking up and being alone?

anyway, it was really nice that so many people came. people that i haven't seen in a really long time. all coming to support my family. it really meant a lot.

the visitation was three hours long (the first hour was just family). it felt like it lasted for days. it was very emotionally and physically exhausting.

i had a hard time sleeping that night. saturday there was an hour long visitation before the funeral service. during the visitation i finally had enough balls to go up to my grandpa. i wasn't able to do so before that. the actual funeral was really beautiful. the minister was a friend of my moms and he did such a wonderful job. he made it very personal and said very nice things about my grampie. he picked out really nice verses and other things to read. he really did a great job. my uncle got up and said some things. and then after that my brother did, which was a shock. i cried the entire time. when it was time to walk out and say last goodbyes i walked up to my grandpa for the last time. i was already crying when i walked up, but as soon as i got to him i started sobbing and crying uncontrollably. literally on the verge of an anxiety attack.

it's been very hard but i do realize that he isn't in pain anymore. that he is better off wherever he is. and i miss him like crazy.



i was having a pretty decent day today. i cleaned up the house, did some laundry, relaxed a bit...decided to head to target to wander the isles and pick up a few things i needed. got some good finds: lots of socks on clearance, some black lace tights, cute ass jeans and a pink paul frank hoodie for my niece. while i was wandering the shoe isle, i got a phone call from my dad: "grandpa died".

the only thing that came out of my mouth was "what?" and then my eyes flooded with tears. it's a little awkward crying in the shoe isle at target. and not one person looked up at me.

it's 11pm. i'm not the slightest bit tired. i wish i could get some sleep. i have decided to go to work tomorrow for a few hours, just to get out of the house. same thing for thursday (unless i have to be in kzoo earlier). no clue when the funeral is yet.

i have so many thoughts going through my head right now. i wish i could put my mind to rest. i wish there was something i could do. i wish for strength for my grandma right now. can you imagine being with someone for 50+ years and then all of a sudden not having them around?


how is it almost september already?

this year has been flying by.

it's been cold here. this week it's supposed to be in the mid/high 70s and sunny. i'll keep my fingers crossed. i wish it would just hit 80. this has been the shortest, worst summer.

this morning i was getting ready for work and i heard a whack on the window in the kitchen. sounded like a bird just flew into it and crashed. i went to go check it out and there was a huge squirrel sitting on the window sill. lookin in side, checkin everything out. then he started tapping on the glass. it was crazy. i've never seen anything like that in person. maybe he's trying to tell me something?

a month and a half till i turn 30. . .


has it come to this?

can we not be friends anymore?

the state

i was wandering around target waiting for a text back from tony regarding a birthday present for someone. it was taking a bit longer than i expected. i decided to check out the movie section and look what i found!

i'm so stoked on this! cant wait to watch it! the state was one of my favorite shows back in the day. they don't make comedy like this anymore!

i'm also trying to get tony to take me to blue nile tonight for our date night. i hope we go because i am craving all-you-can-eat ethiopian food!


another one

had a dream last night about meeting jason mraz. shit is gettin old! i wish it would just happen already, hah. although i really dont even know what i would say.

i think summer here is officially over. we had two weeks of beautiful sunny weather, and now we're getting back into the 70s with rain. i believe next week its supposed to be in the 60s. i hate michigan.

my gpa has pneumonia again. they are meeting today to decide if they are putting him in a hospice. which, you know what that means...

tony woke up in a horrible mood this morning, and unfortunately it rubbed off on me. i got up too early and couldn't go back to bed. and now i see that it's raining out i just dont want to go to work.

i ordered some superfoods the other day and i am anxiously awaiting their arrival. i want to try them out so bad. i'm hoping this will give me the energy i've been lacking so much lately.

wish me luck,


jason mraz

the show last night was incredible. we got there a little early, which ended up being a fantastic idea, because they had booths and stuff set up like a mini festival. kat and i got shirts, and we walked around for a bit. there was a guy sitting under a tent singing and playing guitar. he was really really talented and interesting. kat ended up getting his cd (his name is ben howard). had a very cool sound/voice and did interesting things with his guitar.

while we were watching ben, i saw bushwalla walking around. kinda watching stuff, talkin to people, whatever..kat and tony didn't know who he was but i did! i got too shy to walk up and say anything to him. we did make eye contact a few times and he smiled at me..i'm such a dork! i should have just went up and introduced myself. anyway, he ended up playing a few song with ben, and by himself. the manager from cafe gratitude was also there and sang with bushwalla..she has the most beautiful voice!

everyone just kinda hung out with eachother. it was super laid back and chill..that whole group of people are just so kind and genuine. it's amazing and inspiring to see people show so much love!

after watching bushwalla perform we decided to get check our seats and see what was going on at the stage. k'naan got up and did his thing..which was really good by the way. after that was g love. he was a little slow at first but got the crowd going like crazy later!

then jason came on! he played songs i've never heard him play before...both live and recorded. so that was awesome. he seemed tired but had more energy than the last time i saw him. bushwalla, k'naan, and g love all came up and contributed to jason's music. the collaberation was of course great.

after jason left the stage, of course he came back for an encore. he ended up doing the encore basically in the audience, between rows. it was incredible. the crazy thing about it was when he was walking through the crowd to get to the spot he was singing at, he walked right fucking next to me. i could have touched him! that's how close he was. i wasn't expecting to see him that close. i feel like a huge dork for being this excited about it but this is someone that i look up to and have been inspired by for a long time. i still cant believe he walked right by me! in fact, words cannot explain how i feel about it! i'm still in awe.

he's beautiful inside and out. he makes people think differently, feel differently, and live differently....he inspires people to make changes with themselves and the world. he has a beautiful voice, he can dance, and he seems like a really down to earth person. what more could you possibly need??

all in all, i got a few good pictures/videos, a whole lot of great memories, and the inspiration i have been lacking lately. so thanks to everyone who put on a fantastic show!

all this makes me want to go to san diego even more now. at least to visit...i seriously need to just get a ticket and go out there to enjoy the area!!


i've been busy

but jason mraz is tonite!!!!!!!!!!


almost time to breathe...

been crazy busy. works been awesome. me and tony have been good. had lots of time with friends and hangin out and actually enjoying the summer!

came home to this last nite:

fuck yeah!



how are you supposed to prepare for someone's death?



we went to the movies a couple times this weekend. we have turned friday night into our date nite. i figured i have other nights where i hang out with certain people, so friday would be me and tony's day!

anyway, we went to see Up in 3-d. it was realllllyy cute. but i gotta say, i cried throughout the entire damn movie! i guess i just wasn't expecting the storyline. probably because i had never seen previews for it? but it was sweet and cute and i really liked it.

and last night we went to see 500 Days of Summer. i've heard really bad reviews but i really thought it looked cute and i love zooey deschanel. anyway, i loved it. i thought it was cute as hell. they put it together nicely and i liked the storyline (even though it didn't end up they way you thought it would). i could watch it over and over. i also cried during it...maybe i'm just emotional lately? i also fell in love with joseph gordon-levitt...i thought he did a great job in this movie. i really haven't seen him in anything but 3rd rock and 10 things i hate about you. but i really liked him in 500! he also showed off his singing/dancing skills. all in all, a good movie, and i loved it.

and now it's a beautiful day outside and i have to work. we haven't had many good days this year, and i swear they are always on work days! :(


not the best quality...these are pictures of photos cuz i dont have a scanner

for the life of me i could not figure out what this photo was of (i think tony took it). finally i realized that it is the inside of a car...and the nekkid lady body is the stick shift. hah!


i miss my family

after talking with my sister in law last week, i decided to go down to visit my family. i left monday after work. got to kazoo around 11pm. jen and i went to the local bar and got a few beers, talked, played those bar games, and played some pool. we had a lot of fun and it was good to just spend some time with her. we haven't hung out like that since high school!

tuesday we went shopping. got lunch, met up with my mom, etc. in case you wanted to know, this is what i look like with long hair:


after shopping i went to go see my gpa. he just got out of the hospital and moved to a new nursing home. he slept a lot while i was there...he honestly didn't look good. then again he also has pnemonia now. he's lost a lot of weight. his limbs are like sticks and his ribs sick out about four inches. his skin is loose and bruised. it was very hard to see him like that.

after that i went to watch caleb at his tae kwon do class. he's so cute it's sick! there was another boy his age and they got to spar. caleb kept saying how he was the strongest person ever! and "feel my muscles" hahah. it was adorable.

then we just went back to moms and we had dinner and hung out for a bit before i went home.

i miss the kids already. they're so much fun to play with. i wish i had more time to see them and hang out with them.

she looks exactly like me when i was little except with dark hair. she found a picture of me and my brothers and she points me out and says it's her, and points shawn out and says it's caleb. it's totally weird.