not feelin it

yesterday i had to get an endoscopy. no big deal, had one before and never had any issues later. felt ok yesterday after. today i woke up and worked out and i was DYING. my throat was so scratchy and dry and on fire. i had a hard time breathing i think because i was so dry. hardly made it through my workout without feeling like i was going to pass out.

now i feel like crap mentally. i'm really tired but also restless feeling (still from yesterday under doctors orders to relax). i took the time to do my hair and makeup and i feel ugly and i hate my hair and i want to cut it off and i'm so sick of looking at my face.

yesterday i spent a good amount of time reading. when i wasn't reading i was day dreaming. about motorcycle rides, trips to an island so i can be on the beach, ice cream, camp fires, and puppies.

this winter is wearing on me already, and it's only been a month. i need to find something to do with my time...