this has been a difficult year

i had a horrible dream last night.
it was on going and no matter where i was in the dream, it was very negative and mean.
i had people at work being very mean to me. i had my family being extremely rude. judgmental. purposely doing and saying things to hurt me.
i ended up at a friends wedding where my dad was saying rude things about my friends getting married. and then my brother telling me horrible things.
i felt like i wanted to die. or kill someone.
then i woke up to my upstairs neighbors alarm going off. for five fucking minutes.
what a way to start the day. ugh.

the good news of this week is we signed on our new house yesterday. only 6 more weeks of apartment living and we are good to go. i can not wait. i wish that i had time and money to go on a getaway, because that is what i desperately need right now.

i hate feeling this frustrated and depressed. especially in times where i should be so happy and excited.

i need a fresh start.

a chance to breathe again a chance for a fresh start...