my dad is hilarious

a couple weeks ago my parents came up to visit and my dad saw a list of stuff tony has to do hanging up above my office desk. he decided to modify it:


happy birthday to me

i just have to say that the week i turned 29 was one of the most memorable weeks of my life.

on my birthday, not only did tony take the day off work so we could hang out, go get brunch at seva, and go shopping in ann arbor, we also went to jackson to meet the family so we could spend dinner together. and dont forget, hans came out with us to the bar after that! i have never been to the bar on my birthday before and i didn't stay long because some plans fell through, but i will say it was cool to get free beer from the bartender just because i was born.

the rest of the weekend was busy but nice...all of it ending on sunday at my surprise birthday party. all my closest friends were there and it was seriously the sweetest thing tony could do for me.

not to mention the week before he surprised me at a party we were at and got me the most delicious vegan cake i have ever had!

i know i'm leaving out most details but it was such a good week and i just needed to remember how important my friends and family are to me.


one of the many reasons i love JM

A change IS going to come

Last year Bob Dylan compiled a song list for Starbucks’ Artist Choice Series. In addition to offering up a keen selection of country, blues, and jazz, he also supplied notes and commentary as to why he held the songs in such regard. BUT, the best part was the forward.

He wrote, "When I was asked to put together this collection of songs, I wasn't sure what to do. So I just grabbed a bunch of things I was into recently. Some people have favorite songs, but I've got songs of the minute -- songs that I'm listening to right now. And if you ask me about one of those songs a year from now, I might not even remember who did it, but at the moment it's everything to me.”

I bring this up as today’s lesson: Nothing is final. One day you’re high. The next day you’re low. You might have a funky, expressive, or awful haircut today, but soon it will grow into something else, something new and random. Maybe you grew up liking pop music and boy bands, but now you like a specific mash up of Electronic & Classical. You might decide you don’t want to smoke cigarettes anymore; that it’s just not who you are. Maybe you were a staunch republican but now have curiosities about the well-spoken and well-organized Democratic Nominee. Perhaps you were madly in love last week, but woke up today feeling comfort in solitude, without a desire to be held.

Everything is fine. Not finAL.

We tend to instantly identify with “things.” And we believe in so much, when in fact, a belief isn't known to be true. It's a hope for the truth. We hold grudges because of what someone said when we were young. We store hurtful words and replay them in our minds until we think it to be true. And some of us believe a TV commercial and think we need a faster computer, a smarter phone, a stronger pill, a more relaxed-fit jean, etc. We think that certain things, thoughts, or actions make us who we are and sometimes we become addicted to those thoughts or behaviors and then become too afraid to let them go.

I write and post a lot therefore many people assume I have every self-published word memorized or that I live these shared thoughts constantly. This is not the case. My brain doesn’t reference myself very well actually, and I’m sure I contradict myself every other day in one way or another. One day I feel like I have all the wisdom of the world and the next day my soul wears thin and I stutter just ordering ice cream.

And everything is fine.

Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of. These meanderings, rants, and blogs for instance, provide a great deal of comfort just sharing it, even though i put a part of myself on the line to be criticized or considered an ass.
Oh well, Courage is triumph of the soul is guess. and an Ass can still be of great service.

So Remember, You have the right to change your mind.

About anything.


This is not the ending.

P.S. – No doesn’t mean forever. It simply means, “Not right now.”

And on the topic of Not right now, whatever happened to you in the past is not happening now.

You will be safe behind your honest decisions and mood swings.

I promise.


we love him...we want to marry him...

my best friend gave me some of the best news i've had in a while the other day. she bought us tickets for my birthday to see jason mraz! my birthday is not until oct 23rd, and the show is not until nov 21st. but this is a truely fantastic surprise.

i've always listened to jason (yes, we are on a first name basis). and although i usually listened to it when i was in a cheery mood, because of the pop factor, i've always enjoyed his music. this last album he put out was completely different from the others. there was personal growth involved...self exploration and figuring things out. and this album came out when i was feeling the same things. things he sang about made sense to me and along with all the other things in my life, i started to feel like i was understanding things again. so for me, to see him live will be exciting and emotional.

so as of right now, the plan is for kat and i to leave after work thursday night. we'll drive to my parents house in kalamazoo area, sleep there for the night, and get up the next morning and make our way to milwaukee. we'll get there in time for exploring the city a little and checking into our hotel. for only $60 a night we get a comfy bed and aveda bath/hair products! not only that, but we will be a mere .06 miles from the venue. i think we may try to meet him...we both have these huge school-girl crushes on him. it's a little ridiculous when you see us together, talking about him. it's like we're in sixth grade again haha. saturday after we check out of the hotel, we're looking into getting tattooed (shhhh) and having a fun ride home. i kinda wish we had time to stop at chicago diner on the way! mmmmm

i think this may be the longest month of my entire life!