how do they days change so much? things on sunday seemed so good and positive and i was turning stuff around. now today they feel like shit.
first things first-i did not get pre-approved for a mortgage.
because of this i feel a little defeated.
i have been forced to ask my parents to co-sign.
i dont like asking for help.
again, i feel defeated.

since i found that out, i feel like it's just been a domino effect of bullshit that i cannot deal with and i'm stressing like crazy.


i wish i had a buddy

a workout buddy.
a share your secrets buddy.
a shopping buddy.
a music buddy.
a photo buddy.
a crafting buddy.

dont get me wrong-tony is g.r.e.a.t. but i want a girl in my life that i can share with. someone that doesn't judge me. someone that is enough like me that we have lots in common but enough not like me that we challenge each other in a good way.

i just want a girl to connect with that wants to be FRIENDS with me.
instead of feeling used or shut out or judged.



lets try to fill a void.
get online-gap, etsy, sephora...
nothing i want.
nothing i need.
nothing i even like.
play a game.
play another game.
do an online puzzle.
check my email.
nothing is fulfilling.
3 yummy meals
still hungry.
craving ice cream from sweet earth.
too far away to get it.
took a long bath.
felt relaxed but still