it's been a real long time again

but i've been writing more for myself.

it's been helping me clear my head a bit. usually by the end of whatever i'm writing, i'm clear and i dont feel so frustrated. so that's good.

i'm overly tired lately and i dont really know why. i wish i could catch up on sleep. i wish i could allow myself to have some fun. (esp before summer is over!!)

i wish my job wasn't so...frustrating at times.

on the upside: a week or so ago (i dont even know what day it is right now) was my one year sobriety anniversary. that was kind of exciting for me.

i dont really have much to say unfortunately. i thought i did but i think i am finally getting sleepy. (been TIRED all week cant keep my eyes open but i cant actually fall asleep!)

i'm getting the itch to get tattooed. i know what i want and where i want it. i just dont have the extra cash. i need to pay off my fucking credit card bill. that will be the death of me i swear.

i did get another raise at work (which should be on my next paycheck). every little bit helps. i just need to stop buying shoes and makeup. when did that start happening again? sheesh..

we are trying to plan two trips right now. one for xmas/jan and one for our anniversary. it's not working out so well hahah. esp now after i've thought about how much money i owe. and from here on out it's bday season and then xmas and then i will be real broke. maybe i need to get crackin on home made gifts?
nah...lets face it..at this point i dont even feel like getting into the holiday spirit (and everyone knows i'm pretty much obsessed with xmas) let alone MAKING presents for people. i feel like such a bitch but i just feel like gift carding everyone this year. and i hate that more than anything. it is what it is...

why the hell am i thinking about xmas?
i need to go to bed..