gallbladder cleanse

so i'm in the process of doing a cleanse and i hate it.

six days of 32 oz of apple juice. maybe this doesn't sound bad to anyone else but i dont have any sweetener anymore. let alone any fruit (minus berries. and berries aren't that sweet). so my tummy has been a bit upset all week because of the added sugar i'm not used to.

then last nite i had to drink 2 6oz glasses of epsom salt water. which is probably the most revolting thing i have ever had in my mouth. finish that off with my usual 3oz olive oil mixed with oj and i was set! ugh. normally i can't get the oil down all that great but it was super easy after the epsom salts!

this morning upon waking at 7am i had to drink more epsom salts. then again at 9 i have my last glass. i dunno if i can force that last glass down...

my tummy is making weird noises. but i do think i passed gallstones. there were tons of pebble looking things. some as big as peas. i have heard after three of these cleanses it's possible to pass some that are golf ball sized! i really dont want to do another one they are so gross....

anyway i go at 11 to get my colonic and clear some more out. i have a feeling i'm not going to be feeling up to doing much today! :(


is there a sign on my head?

does it say "attention! people from my past! please contact me to fuck with me once i've decided i'm over it!"

someone i decided to rid myself of months ago is trying to worm his way back into my life, apparently.

really, after months you think i'm going to be that easy? i'm through with letting people walk all over me.


more birthday thoughts

i met up with my family for dinner last night. this is the first "event" where my gpa was not there. the first birthday card i got without his signature. there was a few times i had to really stop myself from crying. i miss him so much.

other than that, my stomach is hating me today. and i still have one more day to go! the drinking and food and everything my body is not used to is starting to catch up with me. ugh.

i also start my gallbladder cleanse today. seven days. wish me luck!

i'm glad i dont have to work today. i will be halloween costume shopping, and resting up to prepare for the fun tonight!

ps. i love my friends and family. everyone has made me feel so special these past few days.


it's my birthday

i'm officially 30.

there have been mixed feelings this week. partially because a certain someone that i used to be close to told me that things would be different. unfortunately we dont talk anymore. which is why there are mixed feelings...

regardless, my send-off into the 30s was incredible.

one of my clients/friends asked me out for drinks on wednesday. she's really awesome. we had a ton of fun. she is just like me but much prettier. so glad i decided to go!

last night i went to the mixx and then to dirty martini with a small group. the killer flamingos announced my birthday SEVERAL times so everyone kept coming up and getting me drinks so that was fun. they dedicated songs to me too! i couldn't even begin to get into details of the night but i'm so grateful for my friends for making me feel so special.

i'll be meeting up for lunch with some people at seva!!!!! can't wait! then for dinner meeting my bro and the rest of the family. drinks at the best bar ever (ashleys). i hope my body can handle more beer! tomorrow i'm going out too. four nights in a row is going to be rough!


you aren't the person i thought you were.

then again, maybe i'm not the person you thought i was.


i can do it!!!!

and hold it!!!

WOO! what a great feeling!!



pretty much everything sucks today.

i try very hard to stay positive and optimistic and happy. most days are easy. some are harder than others. today it's impossible.

no matter how hard i've tried things are just not going my way.

and yes, i do know that other people have it worse than i do. don't think that i don't know this.

but i did not need to deal with a certain assistant giving me shit two days in a row, when she should have just been doing her job. i did not need to deal with a certain coworker giving me A RIDICULOUS amount of shit because i called in sick wednesday. i didn't have to deal with the same person trying to talk me out of cutting or coloring my hair. (for the record, i do not understand why everyone at work seems to think i care what they think i should do with my hair. everyone has insisted on arguing with me lately (at work). i did not need to deal with a douchebag asshole at the bar talking shit about me because he is an insecure slut. i shouldn't have to deal with my finally nice looking skin breaking out (when i'm almost 30, ahem). and i definitely didn't need to deal with frogwaard dying. tony is going to be so upset. and i am not looking forward to being the one to break the news.

i just want today to be over with. i'm sick of crying, really.

birthday jitters

two weeks from today and i turn 30.

up until today i was excited for this.

today i want to go back in time.

everything changes when you get older. maybe i'm just not ready.

i can't really describe it. i just...don't like it.


plane tickets

just got our tickets to czech! soooo excited!!


starting a new blog

please check out my new photo blog! i've been inspired and i hope maybe i can inspire someone else too!

365 days of grateful


working out

a few months ago i decided i wanted to start working out. i told myself to start out with three times a week and work it up until five times a week. basically, i ended up unmotivated and working out very little. life would happen, and then i'd slack and have a hard time getting back into it.

on september 22nd i woke up with that feeling again that i needed to be working out. it'd been close to a month since i'd done anything physical and i was feeling like a slob. along with my new diet i thought it only made sense to really change my perspective on things. so i decided that i would really push myself and work out again. starting september 23rd i would work out every day until october 23rd, my 30th birthday. i know once you get to a certain age it really becomes hard to get yourself into shape. and i'm happy with my body and would like to maintain (if not tone up a bit more) what i have.

so i started it. i've been doing a combination of yoga and kickboxing for the past nine days straight. i have not missed a single day, and i am so proud of myself for sticking with this!

besides that, the main reason i'm writing this, is because i have reached the next level in my routine. today as i worked out, i noticed i am SO much closer to doing a certain yoga pose that i have never been able to master. i have much more balance. my flexibility is better. while sitting on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me, i could grab my ankles and stay in that position! (sadly, i cannot sit like that and touch my toes for longer than 2 seconds. BUT I WILL BE ABLE TO SOON!) i have more energy and stamina. and hell, i'm a lot happier!

i am thrilled with the results and motivated to continue this. after today's session, i know that i am headed in the right direction. and i am also happy that me working out is not driven by the desire to look better, but simply the desire to feel better.