i am not my looks! or my name, or my job, or my outfit! i am me!

i would really like to do a photo recap of 2010, but i've been so busy with other little projects that i've been putting off.

i vow to start making lists again.
and to get up early to study.
and as soon as my knee is fixed to start yoga again. (i fell down the stairs last thursday)

today i went to the campus bookstore to buy something for tony. the guy that i was dating when i met tony was working there. i saw him but basically avoided him. my knee was hurting bad and i didn't feel like getting out and i was in grubby clothes and my hair was crazy and i didn't have makeup on. at the time i was thinking "really? i see him here when i look like this?!?!"

once i left and thought about it (on accident) i almost got mad at myself for acting so silly. i go makeup-free all the time! there is nothing wrong with how i look with no make up on! and since when do i care so much about what some boy thinks? some boy that i haven't even see in 5 years! hah! it did get me thinking a little more (again, on accident) about how a month or two ago i ran into an ex and i felt good, and confident, despite the vibe i was getting from him..and how i just went about my day as if nothing disturbed it. and how different today went...and how instead of just being comfortable with who i am and what i look like, i shied away from being the happy person i am and just smiling and going on about my business.

sometimes i am so silly. but i will really ALLOW myself to just let myself be ok with my reactions to things. it is OK that i acted the way i did, because that is a part of me.

on a sort of related note, i took my medusa out. i'm not fully ready to part with it because i thought it was cute, but it has been bothering me more than not lately, and i'm sick of being worried about it. plus i sort of feel like it was trying to define me or something...i dont know of how else to describe that. either way, it needed to go...