the days are just dragging

i cannot wait for this weather to mellow out. the snow one day/50 degree one day back-and-forth is really wearing on me.

soon we are getting rid of our cable. we think it will motivate us to actually starting DOing things again.

i have a whole lot of fun festivals and art shows to keep us busy this spring and summer. hopefully they will all be worth going to. i guess it's what you make it..

this month i will be focusing on cardio. last month was all pilates. yesterday was my first day and i'm sore! mainly my calf area but that is to be expected since i have bad calfs.

my grandpa went to the doctor a little while ago and is in full remission! that is the best news of the year so far.

i am dying to see my family. i miss alyssa and caleb so much it hurts. they are growing up so quick without me around and i just want to play with them! soon enough...alyssa turns one this weekend so i will be going "home" the weekend after. it will be nice to see everyone and spend some time with my family.

i have been dreaming (sleeping and not) of playing soccer. it's literally killing me. i want to play so bad. i wish i had a friend here that played. or i wish my brothers lived closer and we could play on an indoor team. i dont think i could do it all alone!!

i think i will be able to pay off my credit card bill by next month. lordy, i hope so. then i can really start paying off my student loans AND saving some other money up just because. vacation money or something.

i have family from czech coming here in june. we have a lot planned and i'm excited! they will be here for almost a whole month!

ok. work time!

loser

no one wants to cut my hair and no one wants to hang out with me. i suck.

all over the place

1. i currently have an ulcer. the entire weekend was spent laying around with a heating pad on my stomach. come to find out, the medication i take for my (period) cramps causes ulcers. yay for me. on top of that i have an entire mouth full of canker sores. i haven't done any research on this, but i'm wondering if it has to do with the stomach ulcer. canker sores are mouth ulcers. they could go hand in hand. and looking back, i think every time i've had an ulcer i've also had canker sores to accompany it.

2. i finally got to the end of the sopranos series. i know, it's been a long time since the final one aired on tv. regardless, i watched it on sunday. it was a big disappointment. to be honest i'm not sure how i feel about it...i almost feel like the entire restaurant thing was a thought...who knows.

3. i started working out last week. i'm doing pilates three times a week now. i have been feeling better already.

i'm pretty sure there was something else, but i cant think straight right now. i'm not in the mood for work. and i have a feeling it's going to be a loooong day.

finished tattoo

alright, here's my finished, healed tattoo. i think it looks pretty damn good.

ink

three sittings and a total of seven or eight hours and my tattoo is finally done. it looks gorgeous and amazing. a complete piece of art. it seriously looks so close to the original i am amazed every time i see it. aaron ruby is a fantastic tattoo artist and i'm honored he did this piece for me. as soon as it heals maybe i'll post a photo. it's pretty swollen, red and sore still.

speaking of swollen, red and sore; my baby toe is fucked up! i dont understand because it was fine when i went to bed and now that i have woken up it is a mess. i'm not sure what happened but it really hurts.

i suppose it's time to get ready for the day. my only week day off and i have a lot of stuff i need to do, even though i'd rather sit around and relax and heal today.

family bonding

sunday we planned on having a pretty relaxed day. we had to get the mive tshirt/hoodie orders ready to be shipped but other than that we were going to do nothing. around 2pm we get a call from traci (tony's sister) asking all sorts of questions about cartilage piercings. i talked to her for a minute..and within that time she told me that her mom wanted to get her cartilage pierced. i told her that i usually go to eternal which is down the street from my house. both tony and i wanted to witness his mom getting pierced so they said they'd come pick us up.

maybe it's not that funny but i thought it was hilarious that at 51 years old, my mother-in-law wanted to get a piercing!

anyway, the night before we had all been talking about me getting a medusa piercing...i've been thinking about it for years but wasn't sure. there has been a lot of talk about it lately. so sunday tony said "maybe it's a sign!" so i decided to make it a bonding experience and get pierced with my mother-in-law.

they picked us up and we headed over to eternal. mom went first; not too bad she said! traci had decided to get an industrial so she went second. she didn't really like it hahah. she got ghost white and felt sick so the piercer, vanessa, gave her a glucose tablet. once she got some color back in her skin it was my turn. i have never had a facial piercing and i was afraid it was going to hurt like hell. tony and mom sat in there with me (traci is not one for needles hahah) as i got pierced and i gotta say, it was not bad! the worst part was when vanessa put the jewelry in it. but really, i have had no bleeding and today is the first day it's been swollen and even then it's not bad. i feel like i have had this forever.

i've always wanted to get a facial piercing. when i was much younger i wanted my labret pierced but a few years ago i really wanted a medusa. and i'm really glad i got it. i honestly dont know how long i'll keep it but for right now, it fits.

so i dont forget

yesterday i woke up and felt really disoriented and drunk almost. i couldn't really see straight or focus or anything. tony had called (which ended up waking me up) around 11 am. i never sleep that long so that was strange too. he told me to look up some symptoms online so i did. while i was online i just all of a sudden started crying. which turned to screaming. which turned to a huge panic attack. i just freaked out. i was on the floor trying to call tony and i was just completely out of control. i was really scared because i had no idea what my body was doing. tony rushed home from work and i was still on the floor..covered in snot and drool. i was so embarrassed and didn't want my husband to see me like that. after a while he calmed me down and called my doctor...it ended up being that i was having prescription drug withdrawals. i had forgotten to take my medication saturday and sunday, and it really messed me up on monday. i dont think i have ever been that scared before. i thought i was going to die. i wasn't sure if i was having something major happen to me or not. i didn't realize you could have withdrawals from a prescription.

today i'm feeling much better. my forehead hurts...almost like it's bruised. i'm a little out of it but not really bad compared to yesterday! now that i know what happens i'm going to have to be extra careful to take my medicine when i'm supposed to so that doesn't happen again!

2008

so far, 2008 has brought many new things.

1) this blog
2) my hair color
3) a car for my husband

well, that may not be too many things. regardless, i'm glad it's a new year. 2007 was beginning to wear on me. there were many stressful events that happened; particularly at the end of the year. not saying this year has been any better! hopefully things will settle into place shortly and i will have pressure lifted off my shoulders.

i really plan on using this as a way to keep track of my thoughts and events. i figured i needed something new (no more livejournal).

ps. i have been craving fried chicken today. i need a vegan recipe!