i love fall...and other random things

this is pretty much how everything looks right now and i love it!

this place used to be a chinese restaurant. super gross and weird that it's obgyn now!

cory wanted me to do his makeup for halloween and gave me the following two pictures for inspiration.

this is what it ended up looking like:
i think it turned out really good! obviously not perfect but we were happy with it.

and the same nite tony decided to shave his beard which is always fun. because things like this happen:

hope everyone had a happy halloween!

gallbladder cleanse

so i'm in the process of doing a cleanse and i hate it.

six days of 32 oz of apple juice. maybe this doesn't sound bad to anyone else but i dont have any sweetener anymore. let alone any fruit (minus berries. and berries aren't that sweet). so my tummy has been a bit upset all week because of the added sugar i'm not used to.

then last nite i had to drink 2 6oz glasses of epsom salt water. which is probably the most revolting thing i have ever had in my mouth. finish that off with my usual 3oz olive oil mixed with oj and i was set! ugh. normally i can't get the oil down all that great but it was super easy after the epsom salts!

this morning upon waking at 7am i had to drink more epsom salts. then again at 9 i have my last glass. i dunno if i can force that last glass down...

my tummy is making weird noises. but i do think i passed gallstones. there were tons of pebble looking things. some as big as peas. i have heard after three of these cleanses it's possible to pass some that are golf ball sized! i really dont want to do another one they are so gross....

anyway i go at 11 to get my colonic and clear some more out. i have a feeling i'm not going to be feeling up to doing much today! :(

i am not in the mood for people's shit today

FUCK TODAY.

is there a sign on my head?

does it say "attention! people from my past! please contact me to fuck with me once i've decided i'm over it!"

someone i decided to rid myself of months ago is trying to worm his way back into my life, apparently.

really, after months you think i'm going to be that easy? i'm through with letting people walk all over me.

more birthday thoughts

i met up with my family for dinner last night. this is the first "event" where my gpa was not there. the first birthday card i got without his signature. there was a few times i had to really stop myself from crying. i miss him so much.

other than that, my stomach is hating me today. and i still have one more day to go! the drinking and food and everything my body is not used to is starting to catch up with me. ugh.

i also start my gallbladder cleanse today. seven days. wish me luck!

i'm glad i dont have to work today. i will be halloween costume shopping, and resting up to prepare for the fun tonight!

ps. i love my friends and family. everyone has made me feel so special these past few days.

it's my birthday

i'm officially 30.

there have been mixed feelings this week. partially because a certain someone that i used to be close to told me that things would be different. unfortunately we dont talk anymore. which is why there are mixed feelings...

regardless, my send-off into the 30s was incredible.

one of my clients/friends asked me out for drinks on wednesday. she's really awesome. we had a ton of fun. she is just like me but much prettier. so glad i decided to go!

last night i went to the mixx and then to dirty martini with a small group. the killer flamingos announced my birthday SEVERAL times so everyone kept coming up and getting me drinks so that was fun. they dedicated songs to me too! i couldn't even begin to get into details of the night but i'm so grateful for my friends for making me feel so special.

i'll be meeting up for lunch with some people at seva!!!!! can't wait! then for dinner meeting my bro and the rest of the family. drinks at the best bar ever (ashleys). i hope my body can handle more beer! tomorrow i'm going out too. four nights in a row is going to be rough!

you aren't the person i thought you were.

then again, maybe i'm not the person you thought i was.

henry ford estates

i can do it!!!!

and hold it!!!

WOO! what a great feeling!!

wow

pretty much everything sucks today.

i try very hard to stay positive and optimistic and happy. most days are easy. some are harder than others. today it's impossible.

no matter how hard i've tried things are just not going my way.

and yes, i do know that other people have it worse than i do. don't think that i don't know this.

but i did not need to deal with a certain assistant giving me shit two days in a row, when she should have just been doing her job. i did not need to deal with a certain coworker giving me A RIDICULOUS amount of shit because i called in sick wednesday. i didn't have to deal with the same person trying to talk me out of cutting or coloring my hair. (for the record, i do not understand why everyone at work seems to think i care what they think i should do with my hair. everyone has insisted on arguing with me lately (at work). i did not need to deal with a douchebag asshole at the bar talking shit about me because he is an insecure slut. i shouldn't have to deal with my finally nice looking skin breaking out (when i'm almost 30, ahem). and i definitely didn't need to deal with frogwaard dying. tony is going to be so upset. and i am not looking forward to being the one to break the news.

i just want today to be over with. i'm sick of crying, really.

birthday jitters

two weeks from today and i turn 30.

up until today i was excited for this.

today i want to go back in time.

everything changes when you get older. maybe i'm just not ready.

i can't really describe it. i just...don't like it.

plane tickets

just got our tickets to czech! soooo excited!!

starting a new blog

please check out my new photo blog! i've been inspired and i hope maybe i can inspire someone else too!

365 days of grateful

wishing i was back at the beach...

working out

a few months ago i decided i wanted to start working out. i told myself to start out with three times a week and work it up until five times a week. basically, i ended up unmotivated and working out very little. life would happen, and then i'd slack and have a hard time getting back into it.

on september 22nd i woke up with that feeling again that i needed to be working out. it'd been close to a month since i'd done anything physical and i was feeling like a slob. along with my new diet i thought it only made sense to really change my perspective on things. so i decided that i would really push myself and work out again. starting september 23rd i would work out every day until october 23rd, my 30th birthday. i know once you get to a certain age it really becomes hard to get yourself into shape. and i'm happy with my body and would like to maintain (if not tone up a bit more) what i have.

so i started it. i've been doing a combination of yoga and kickboxing for the past nine days straight. i have not missed a single day, and i am so proud of myself for sticking with this!

besides that, the main reason i'm writing this, is because i have reached the next level in my routine. today as i worked out, i noticed i am SO much closer to doing a certain yoga pose that i have never been able to master. i have much more balance. my flexibility is better. while sitting on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me, i could grab my ankles and stay in that position! (sadly, i cannot sit like that and touch my toes for longer than 2 seconds. BUT I WILL BE ABLE TO SOON!) i have more energy and stamina. and hell, i'm a lot happier!

i am thrilled with the results and motivated to continue this. after today's session, i know that i am headed in the right direction. and i am also happy that me working out is not driven by the desire to look better, but simply the desire to feel better.

namaste!

sdre

sunny day was friday. it was phenomenal. i haven't seen them play in close to ten years (this was their reunion tour) and they sounded better than then did back then. it was sooo good. and the guitar player was so stoked to be there which made it that much better. there were a lot of people there...but the four guys that stood in front of us were the best. those dudes were so fucking excited! you could tell they'd been bros for a long ass time..they were singing and swaying and rockin out the entire show! they were so happy and it made my experience better because of it. i am SO glad we were able to get tickets to see them!

so we were supposed to drive to maryland for the weekend for a car show. things kept getting all screwed up. decided a month ago to stay in tony's grandpa's cabin in the u.p. found out a week ago that there was no electricity or anything. and that it was gonna rain all weekend. so we decided not to go. THEN we were gonna go back to maryland. late friday nite we found out our friends only had the beach house for fri and sat nite so by the time we would have got there we would have only had one nite there and it wasn't worth the drive. instead we ended up driving to my parents house saturday afternoon. it was my dad's bday thursday and mom's was sunday. so it was a nice surprise for them! saturday nite me, tony, shawn, jen, and dad all went to the local bar. we did lots of drinking and talking and bonding. it was a good time for sure. sunday we got up and drove to st. joe after a big lunch and hung out at the beach. it was sooo good to be back near some water. just listening to real waves and having my feet in the sand and sun on my face brought my mind back to florida earlier this year. how important that trip was to me. how much i learned about myself and how good it was to experience everything that i felt there. how i miss adam and wish we still lived near each other. how i need to have getaways like that more often. how i'm really not looking forward to this michigan winter!

we got back home this afternoon. got things done around the house. i'm sleepy and hans is over. one more day off before i have to get back to work. lets just hope for the best when i go back...

one of the many reasons ann arbor rules

RIP tare panda

i had to put tare panda to sleep today. late last week she developed a tumor on/in her eye. it's been getting worse and worse and she's blind out of that eye and she's constantly fucking with it. it looks so painful so i thought this would be the right thing to do.

i cried twice yesterday just thinking about it. i thought i had all my tears out. ohhh no no...i didn't. i fought back tears all the way up to the door, and then on the way out the door i was thanking the girls for being so nice and started sobbing.

so i would like to thank the two nice gentlemen that carried tare panda's home to the door for me. they very easily could have just pointed to where i was supposed to go. instead they held doors open for me and apologized for my sick hamster. and thank you to the two nice girls that had to do the awful deed of actually putting her down. what a shit job! i mean, someone's got to do it..i'm just glad it's not me.

last nite i changed her bedding one last time. gave her fresh water. and picked out all sunflower seeds to put them in her bowl (those were her favorite).

two deaths in two weeks. actually, my gpa died exactly two weeks ago today. :(

happy peace day!

i took this from a blog that i read on a regular basis called superforest. i just really liked it and think it's important to do! not just on peace day, but every day!

Happy Peace Day, SuperForest!

Today is Peace Day and let’s celebrate it by being peaceful. Smile at your fellow diamonds. Sparkle at them and enjoy their return sparkle. Say nice things to your fellow humans just to see their faces light up. Hold the door for each other, and email everyone you love to tell them they are great.

Perhaps today is the day that you pick one person that you’ve quarreled with, or one person that you feel has wronged you, and you call them up, or email them, and you say: “Hey (their name), I know we’ve (insert verb), but I just wanted to say: Happy Peace Day, and I love you.”

That will make you feel great inside.

You are great.
Happy Peace Day!
-Jackson

mc reg

got back from the regina spektor show a little bit ago.

she's so cute. she has a sweet, tiny voice, but it is also so strong. and the things that come out of her mouth!!!!

when she played laughing with i started crying and couldn't stop.

that was the first song i heard right after i found out my grandpa died.