why can't i be young again OR why does getting older change things?

what is it about getting older that changes things?

do you remember when you were 12? when you had a best friend? how did you share things with that person? what did you do with them? how did you act around them? didn't you know every detail about their life, good and bad? didn't you love them no matter what because they were your best friend? you talked to them constantly. you cried with them, laughed with them, had fun and got mad at them? but everything always worked out.

i have a "best friend". we work together a couple times a week. we go out to the bar once a week. and we occasionally text each other. we have no idea what each other does throughout the week (for the most part).

i have other "best friends". people that i'm really close to. people that i connect with, that i feel comfortable with. people that i share parts of my life with.

i do not however, have a best friend like i used to have a best friend.

something changed when i got older. people build walls. they dont have time for the little things anymore.

one of my "bffs" pointed out to me recently that people "get busy". lives get in the way of friendships. jobs are demanding. significant others want attention. families grow and change and now your "best friend" has other things to do.

my question is: why does getting older do that to people?

i still very much care about every detail of all of my friends' lives. sometimes i guess i just wish someone would reciprocate...


White Collar Boy said...

I hear you on this. For the last ten years, I've been losing close friends to marriage, families, and carrer paths. It seems nobody has enough time anymore to be with the ones they love. Then they complain about it all the time...but do nothing proactive to make a change!

My advice is to try to understand that this is just part of human life...and make new "best friends". It sounds daunting, but try it. You obviously value the idea of a best friend. If you're current "best friend" isn't being what you want her to be, downgrade her to "regular friend" status and find someone who will give you what you want.

Dr. Singh out!

ieatmodestmouse said...

the whole "they complain about it all the time...but do nothing proactive to make a change!" ....i dont understand. i'm a firm believer in thinking that you can't complain about something unless you have a solution. and you're right, no one is proactive about changing that!

i guess i'm just glad now that i realized that things are supposed to be different. i think for a while i was thinking i was flawed..that i couldn't hold on to great friendships anymore..

thanks for the advice!