tattoo, frustrations, etc..

i got some more work done on my tattoo yesterday. shit's taking forever. i've already sat for eight hours and it's a little over halfway done. i have another appointment in august, after aaron gets done with tour. he'd like to think it's going to get done in one more sitting but i know it'll be at least two more. just sucks...i hope it's done before the end of the year. i was originally hoping by the end of summer but it looks like that wont happen. i guess thats what happens when your tattooist is in a famous band. hah.

so i've been trying to stay positive. this week has been exceptionally hard to stay focused and grounded. these are just a few things i've had to deal with:

1. grampie is doing real bad. i dont even want to get into it. but he's not good at all. and my fucking grandmother is being a selfish bitch. i wish there was a way for me to make her see that this is not about her. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU, GRAMS!

2. my brother's gf went to atl this week and we kept her car at our place so she didn't have to pay for airport parking. well, i wont even go into all of the annoyances surrounding that situation, because there really are too many. i'll just say i ended up spending a lot more time with her than i would have liked (because we dont get a long. i do NOT like this person). also, we ended up with a shitty car situation on our way to pick her up from the airport (i.e. some idiot in front of us just bought a big plastic storage garage thingy and did not make sure it was secured in the bed of his truck..wind picked up the top of it and it flew OVER my jeep, landing right in front of my bro's gf's car (that tony was driving) and punctured a hole in the radiator.) Basically, it was a big fucking mess. and we had to deal with it for six fucking hours.)

3. my friends...or should i say "friends"?? i am at a loss for words to describe the hurt and anger i feel towards people that i thought were really close to me. i have literally made my stomach ache from obsessing over what to do about these people. i cry when i think about how things used to be, and i cry more when i think about how things are now. i feel like i am not cared for by people that i care the most about. and that, that is a horrible feeling.

i wish i could ride my scooter today. it's nice out and i'm wasting it being inside sulking. well, not just sulking...i have been super busy doing shit that needed to be done a long time ago.

thank you sunshine, for coming out and sticking around on my gloomy day.