this is not typical july weather

i should not be wearing jeans and hoodies in july. i should be wearing sun dresses!

grrr to you, michigan!

cotton candy, i miss you!


tiniest horse ever! i named him prince (he looks like the artist formerly know as.....!)

the universe works in mysterious ways. and other updates.

i didn't have to work all weekend. it was nice to have three days off in a row.

i have this friend, brian, who i haven't heard from since late 2007. this is a common thing to happen with us...this talking/not talking. anyway, he was the first person i met that i realized i was soul-connected to. we always had this great bond and connection. i've known him since i was 17 i think. anyway, from 2004 to 2007 we had constant communication. he had a terrible accident and was hit by a semi, leaving him brain damaged (i found out in 2004). from then on i think we realized we'd have to try better to stay in touch...we'd write and call and all that. i witnessed him slow-talking, with no real memory of certain things..growing and changing to the brian that i remember when we first met. he started processing things again, verbalizing better, and remember the little things that people should never be able to forget. 2007 was when i got my last letter from him. he lost his phone, his email, and apparently the ability to write back to me! ;) i still wrote him anyway. updating him on what was going on with me and all. sometime this year i started getting really worried. i felt like something wasn't right and i started looking in the obituary to see if something had happened to him or his parents. i found nothing so i had to assume that everything was ok.

well, on friday i decided to call his old phone number. every time i've called it before there was no one to pick up...no answering machine or voice mail. but i tried again friday and after SEVERAL rings, i was about to hang up when a boy answered the phone. he, of course, told me "wrong number" but i did think it was interesting that after two years of calling the same number sporadically i finally got someone. but that's not the weird part.

i figured after that it was obviously not the correct phone number so i could finally get rid of it and never try again. and that i would try one last letter.

tony and i decided to work on our kitchen this weekend. saturday we started painting and all that, and sometime during the day i get a text message. it's from brian. wishing me a happy 4th.

i dont think i will ever understand all the synchronicitys that happen in life. but i do get that feeling that things are supposed to happen for a certain reason. sometimes i just wish i knew what the purpose was...either way, i'm lucky to have them happen to me!

in other updates, i mentioned that we worked on the kitchen this weekend. well, it's almost done. just a couple little things here and there. i loooove it. i want to spend all my time in there.

before:





after:











i look at it and i cant believe it's finally done. i've wanted to redo the kitchen for a looong time. i'm so glad it turned out so nicely!!

hi.

i've been in a crummy mood lately. which is the reason i've been so silent.

yesterday was me and tony's anniversary. i had to work till 5 or so, and then we went to seva for a delicious dinner. really low key, but nice. we had a long talk about some things that were really important, and i believe we are moving forward. we spent a good part of today together and we had a lot of fun, even though we were just kind of running errands and stuff.

sunday we went to the livonia fireworks. it was cooler than usual but they were really nice, as always. well, minus the guy yelling "FREEDOM!!!" constantly. hah!

ugh

i've been really emotional today. one minute i'm fine, the next i'm crying in the corner of the shower. it's very frustrating. i have a lot on my mind. i wish i could just get it all out. maybe i just dont know what i want anymore...

i hate cell phones/sprint

two weeks. still a broken phone. no one knows what is going on with it. very frustrating.

i'm currently avoiding doing my homework that my therapist gave me. so unmotivated.

i go to 5th ave every thursday nite. have been for over a year. developed some great friendships there. last night was the last time they were opened. it was extremely sad. i dont even want to think about it. so it was an ok night...met some cool people, said "later" to some great people, and tried to be cheery as hard as it was. it was pretty much hard on everyone.

kat, joey, and me. joey is one of our faves.

also, while i had kat's camera i found this gem from last month:

seriously, how great was my hair?! i gotta say, i do miss it like that. i'm getting bored with what i have now...hmmmmmm. maybe it's time for a change!

damn it feels good to be a gangsta

i love being able to speak my mind. express my feelings, get things off my chest, etc. i feel like i have my friends back. it was very hard for me to say certain things to certain people, but communication is huge. and thankfully my friends felt comfortable enough to open up to me and communicate their feelings to me.

life is good.

kat and i went out last nite. had an awesome time. met some cool people. she met some guy from the wings that she's in love with and he ended up being super cool. i'm so proud of her that she put her insecurities aside and approached him on her own!! i broke down and had a beer last night too. it was fucking delicious! it's been almost six weeks and i just dont want to live my life depriving myself of things that i enjoy. and i gotta tell ya, my health has not suffered from that one little beer today. so i think i'm good to go!

there are a couple sites that i've really been enjoying lately. one being thoughts become things. the website is based on the premise that "thoughts become things... choose the good ones!" if you sign up for their daily emails, you receive "notes from the universe". they are cute and inspiring and i really love getting them every day.

also, paperbackswap is awesome. i'm addicted. basically, you swap books. i've sent out seven books this week. which means i will get seven credits towards other members books that i will get for free. it's such a great concept and being the avid book-reader that i am, it works perfectly for me. i keep the books i love and want to keep in my collection, and i get rid of the ones that didn't do anything for me. could there be anything better??


loving you more today than yesterday,
lisa

yesterday in photos

i had a long, stressful day. therapy was hard, but helpful. when tony got home we decided to grill. i looove asparagus grilled..yummy.



after dinner i decided we should go teeter tottering. well let me tell you, that was very hard to do since we couldn't find a teeter totter anywhere!! we were on a search for over an hour..trying over ten parks in the area. i couldn't believe that no one has teeter totters in parks or at schools anymore! are they dangerous or something? i dont understand! it was very sad.

because we couldn't find a teeter totter we decided to look into buying a big trampoline. which was just as hard to find as the damn teeter totter! so we went home empty handed. although, while looking for a trampoline at meijer, we did find this gem:



i thought it was hilarious because i have never heard of anything of this nature until a year ago when i was in niagara with my parents. my dad got out of the shower and was blow-drying and i asked my mom what he was drying...because he doesn't have much hair! she told me he was drying his private area so he wouldn't get "the wolf". well, according to this product, it's not called the wolf, it's called monkey butt. awesome.

aww..love on sale

tattoo, frustrations, etc..

i got some more work done on my tattoo yesterday. shit's taking forever. i've already sat for eight hours and it's a little over halfway done. i have another appointment in august, after aaron gets done with tour. he'd like to think it's going to get done in one more sitting but i know it'll be at least two more. just sucks...i hope it's done before the end of the year. i was originally hoping by the end of summer but it looks like that wont happen. i guess thats what happens when your tattooist is in a famous band. hah.

so i've been trying to stay positive. this week has been exceptionally hard to stay focused and grounded. these are just a few things i've had to deal with:

1. grampie is doing real bad. i dont even want to get into it. but he's not good at all. and my fucking grandmother is being a selfish bitch. i wish there was a way for me to make her see that this is not about her. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU, GRAMS!

2. my brother's gf went to atl this week and we kept her car at our place so she didn't have to pay for airport parking. well, i wont even go into all of the annoyances surrounding that situation, because there really are too many. i'll just say i ended up spending a lot more time with her than i would have liked (because we dont get a long. i do NOT like this person). also, we ended up with a shitty car situation on our way to pick her up from the airport (i.e. some idiot in front of us just bought a big plastic storage garage thingy and did not make sure it was secured in the bed of his truck..wind picked up the top of it and it flew OVER my jeep, landing right in front of my bro's gf's car (that tony was driving) and punctured a hole in the radiator.) Basically, it was a big fucking mess. and we had to deal with it for six fucking hours.)

3. my friends...or should i say "friends"?? i am at a loss for words to describe the hurt and anger i feel towards people that i thought were really close to me. i have literally made my stomach ache from obsessing over what to do about these people. i cry when i think about how things used to be, and i cry more when i think about how things are now. i feel like i am not cared for by people that i care the most about. and that, that is a horrible feeling.

i wish i could ride my scooter today. it's nice out and i'm wasting it being inside sulking. well, not just sulking...i have been super busy doing shit that needed to be done a long time ago.

thank you sunshine, for coming out and sticking around on my gloomy day.

"remember that time when we was walking home from school and we stopped by st. nick park to sit down for a minute and kiss? remember that little white butterfly that came and sat on the back of the bench for a minute, then flew away when i tried to catch it for you? you told me that was the first butterfly you had ever seen in harlem. it was the first one i had ever seen uptown too. i haven't seen one since."

"right now, it looks like the whole sky is filled with white butterflies. i'm standing at 158th and the george washington bridge, right at the walkway looking down at the water. i ripped all the letters you ever sent me up in little pieces, so small that anybody who finds a piece would barely be able to read the words. little by little, i'm letting the wind carry the pieces away. they're flying and dancing and soaring like that butterfly we saw that day. i'm letting you go, i'm finally letting go."

fucking bullshit

apparently my "best friend" has decided to ditch me for her new drug lifestyle. after two years of being clean she started using again when i was in florida. she's been weird and distant to me. she just pretty much ditched me at the bar to go hang out with her other drug friends. it doesn't help that i cant drink anymore...i guess you have to be drunk when you hang out with your best friend in order to have fun. i'm so pissed off and so hurt right now i dont even know what to do. i cant believe she is acting like this.

it also doesn't help that i am having issues with other "friends" in my life. i just wish people could be fucking real with me. would stop fucking using me. and quit playing games. i am much too old for this.

isn't there anyone genuine out there? maybe someone with their head on straight???

today is a good day

i'm ready for it to be over...

you bring the drinks,
and i'll bring the fuck-yous

i am

super disappointed in the pre...


i am also currently phone-less. because this stupid fucking thing wont turn on. i dont even know why i bought this.

feeling weird about shit

but i did get a new phone today. which isn't working. so i currently have no phone. i really want to play with it (the new palm pre) but i cant. hopefully my plan gets switched over soon so i can explore.

i had my first bride today. really cute pregnant asian girl. could barely speak english. i did better than i thought i could (and i suck at updos). i was proud of myself.

i wish i could shake the mentally exhausting feeling i've had the past couple weeks. i dont think i can do this anymore.

i did have a wonderful day to myself yesterday. spent a good four hours at henry ford estates taking photos, meditating, and just hanging out enjoying nature.


see?

i was really pleased with the photos. i have some cool dreamy type shots of flowers that i adore. i'm feeling tired and lazy so i wont even bother posting them now..soon, soon...

ride on

although i love my family dearly, being with them for over two days straight is a bit much. regardless, we had a good time at cedar point.

adorable.

he's getting so big!

favorite irises that were at the detroit zoo

zoo animals

in case you didn't know, all photos get bigger if you click on them.

note to self:

stop. looking at the internet. when you're fuckin bored.

it does more harm than good.

seriously, STOP!

going to cedar point for the weekend!

i feel really great today!

that is all.

i just had to share it.

:D

more later!

seein red

i had a weird dream with deer last nite. and i've seen several images of deer lately as well...

"when deer show up in your life it is time to be gentle with yourself and others. a new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. there is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. ask yourself important questions. are you trying to force things? are others? are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? when deer show up there is an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you."

and the animals are always red. first the elephant, then the frog, and now the deer. i find that interesting...

update

this is how i feel about the past weekend :)


was very busy this weekend, but in a good way. we had a bbq, we went to a bbq, got to hang out with good friends that i wish i could see more and good friends that i haven't seen in a long time.

tried out red pepper deli in northville (delicious raw food) while on a picnic. got nori rolls and the raw tacos. so fucking good!


he's so handsome


went to the detroit zoo and hung out with some animals i dont usually spend time with. i'll post photos after i go through them.

fell in love with irises...and will hopefully soon plant some in the yard! probably photos for some of those too...they had a whole section of irises at the zoo and there were colors i have never seen before and i loved them all.

watched a beautiful, beautiful movie called bella. the actors were all beautiful, along with the storyline and cinematography...i seriously loved everything about this movie. which does not happen very often.

i only work two days this week and i have the weekend off because i'm going to cedar point. it'll be nice to spend the weekend with my family and get to have fun on the roller coasters!

picture post

i was going through my wedding photos to look for something to rasterbate for our living room wall. it is currently blank because we did some re-arranging and wanted something new but i've been too lazy to create something. anyway, i look at my wedding photos and i hardly recognize the person in them. it's been almost two years since then and i can't believe how much i have changed.

i dont ever remember seeing this photo but for some reason i like it:


in the end, this is the image i rasterbated: (i hope it turns out cool)

this is what i look like today: (i absolutely looove my new hair color)


and my new green eyeshadow:


breakfast every morning:

fin.

this made me giggle all the way home

imagine me. little ole me (i know i'm not little but i feel little when i wear a sun dress). riding home from work on my cute little baby blue scoot scoot. in my cute little white helmet. in a cute little pink and white and blue sun dress. minding my own business. stopped at a red light. all of a sudden SURROUNDED by a pack of huge biker dudes. waiting patiently at the red light that lasts forever. them revving their big-bike engines. me feeling tiny in my dress (who wears a dress on a bike??). seriously, completely, 100% surrounded by big motorcycles! and little ole me, right smack dab in the middle.

it made me giggle..you should too!

sometimes i really hate thinking of titles

i dont ever, ever, ever watch tv. we got rid of our cable months ago and it has been heaven. no more relying on filling empty space with junk. no more wasting precious time with useless crap.

jason mraz was supposed to be on american idol tonite. i was real excited. then i saw it. and it sucked.

end of story. hah. and then someone died.

:/

in other news, i had a shitty day. it ended well, with awesome end-of-the-day clients, lots of cash, and a refreshing scoot ride home.

on the way to work i had a small wardrobe malfunction. it was super nice out and i wanted to wear a dress to work. but i also wanted to ride my scooter. so i opted for this cute little number:

sorry for the awesome quality. i didn't feel like taking a thousand photos to get something great. this will have to do. anyway, this is one of my favorite belts. it's black satin and looks like a cumberbund. normally i just tie it in a bow and i'm good for the day! well, apparently if you are riding a scooter the wind will untie your belt while you are driving. i almost lost my belt! luckily i grabbed it just as it was coming off! needless to say, i felt like an idiot. i then had to pull over and re-tie my belt with a knot so i could finish my ride to work.

PS. i fully take back what i said about jason mraz's performance on american idol.

rant

i have a problem.
sometimes the internet is the devil.
or maybe my curiosity/boredom is the devil.


i think i'm finding out who my "real" friends are.
which, sadly, is not that many.
everyone else are just fair-weather friends.
and that makes me sad.


could people STOP playing games with me?!
wtf.